9 Mart 2008 Pazar

My Unforgettable Birthday Party

MY UNFORGETTABLE BIRTHDAY PARTY
There are kinds of memories that cannot be forgotten easily.One of these memories is my birthday party which is impossible me to forget.This memory has been unforgettable for me till now and it will be unforgettable till the end of my life.
When I was 10 years old,on Saturdays I was going to the art lesson with my cousin.That year,my birthday met by chance with Saturday,29th of November.My mum and my aunt took me and my cousin to the art lesson in the afternoon.In the evening,my aunt came to take us from the art lesson.Three of us came to our house.As soon as,I entered the house,I saw some of my relatives and I got surprised.My mum was also surprised.
A few days ago,my mother had told me that she wouldn’t give a birthday party for me because she would be tired as the house would be crowded.So,knowing and considering this fact,I wondered why all of my relatives came to our house at the same time.When an hour later,my uncles came with my father,I understood that they all came to celebrate my birthday.After the celebration of my birthday,my relatives started to go their houses.Later on,we understood that my aunt had called all of the guests to give me a surprise birthday party without telling my mum.Only my aunt,who had organized this surprise party for me,was still in our house and I thanked her for this unforgettable birthday party.
At the end,I was very happy and I enjoyed very much with my cousins.Whenever I’m required to write an unforgettable celebration,I always write this as at first this memory comes to my mind.

1 yorum:

Dilara Ertürk dedi ki...

1.The thesis statement is clear enough.It's stated.
2.'There are kinds of memories that cannot be forgotten easily.'is the thesis statement.
3.The content is clear and when I read the paragraphs I can understand what she mentions about.Organization is also clear.
4.She explains everything in each paragraph.
5.Every paragraph has a focus.There aren't any unrelated sentences in this essay.
6.I just find the first paragraph a little bit repeatable,bec.I saw some unforgettables that bothering me.
7.In general,I liked the essay.ıt gives the impression how she was excited.